I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
