I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
