my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
