Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
