You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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