At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
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