it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
