This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
