Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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