I smell stomach acid.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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