Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
