so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
