ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
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