In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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