just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
