Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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