i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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