Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
