but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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