singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize