do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
