He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize