somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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