Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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