Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
