one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
