just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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