think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
