I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
