Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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