OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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