I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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