Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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