He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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