The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
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