No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
