Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
