Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
