3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
