I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
