what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
