people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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