I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
