I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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