he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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