Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
