i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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