oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
