i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
