Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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