So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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