haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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