So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i may or may not be watching the land before time
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
