just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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