It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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