I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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