Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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