I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
