Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
