OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
