I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
