She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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