And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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