And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
