I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
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