Your dad touched me again.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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