there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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