can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
