Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
